Hello There...
For those of you who do not know my husband. I wanted to paint an image of this man who has not stolen my heart, but gotten me to willingly hand it over, with no thought as to what could happen to it, at an age that most people would find terrifying (or appalling. It has more to do with you than me I think). People tend to have a moment of shock when they find out that I am married and am only twenty-one. You can imagine the reaction I get when I tell them I have been married for over two years. So I thought it would be fitting to try to explain this love of mine to you "sane" people. Note that it is not because I feel I have to get your approval but more because I feel a deep yearning, bursting need in my chest to describe this man in a way that does him justice.
I could start with how completely physically attractive he is (and I really could... everyone thinks so....trust me I hear it all the time... ;D ). However, there is so much more to him. My husband is a man to be reckoned with. He is a force. And I don't mean in that overly macho "I'm going to pick a fight with every man I see" way. He just has an essence about him that screams strength. When he says that he'll protect me people believe it, I believe it. He was the first man that my parents automatic response to him saying he'd take care of me, was "I know, and she can only go because you're going to be there with her." They never had any doubt that he would keep me safe. My mother once told me that she knew without a doubt that he would die before he let a hair on my head be hurt. Now those are strong words for a mother to say to her 16 year old daughter. There is just something about him that let's you know when he says something he means it.
You might think that having a man who seems so strong willed might be annoying, and sometimes it can be, just because the man is almost always right. However, my husband is balanced with a tenderness that most men would be embarrassed about. You can always tell what he's feeling when you look into his eyes. Now don't get me wrong, he is just as much a smart ass as any man (or any good friend of mine). But it is interspersed with moments full of deep love and appreciation. He has completely helped me to accept myself, and love myself, just the way I am. And he is the only man I've ever met who will tell me I'm a boogerhead one second, and then put a bunch of love songs on my ipod because they made him think of me.
I think that in this day and age, everyone who gets married really sits back and thinks "are we going to make it? Or are we going to be part of that fifty percent that fails?" And when I ask myself these questions, you know what answer I get? There's no yes, or no. There's not an instant response of "of coarse we'll make it". I get memories. I see his face, with a background of stars in a cloudy night sky, right before he gave me the kiss to end all kisses. I see what I call the "little boy" in him, whenever you get him around a dog. I remember every single time that he happened to show up right when I needed him, and how he always knew when I needed words, and when words could never fix it. I see all the times that he's taken care of me when I was sick, even though he was tired, and had worked all day, and had work early the next morning. I remember each and every time that I had a bad dream and he stayed on the phone with me just so I could hear him breathing and I would know I wasn't alone, and how now he still knows how scared those dreams can make me and he holds me automatically without a second thought, and tells me that it's going to be okay, he's with me. I see the beautiful letters written in his hand that make me cry. I see him down on one knee holding out a ring and asking me to be his wife, in his p.j.s, on my birthday. And SO SO SO much more. This man is not my past, present, and future, but he has been there through my past, and shares my present, and will help me to reach my future. Which is way more than being those things. It's too easy to BE some one's everything. It's a lot harder, and a lot sweeter to BE THERE for some one's everything. To have touched every memory, fear, dream, and hope. That's the hard part. That's the reason I think so many marriages fail. we forget that we should not be their everything but share their everything. That's how you build a life.
My love know that we are two very different people who share a life. He has held me when I cried, caught me when I fell, picked me up when I was hurt, shared in my joy and my pain, been strong when I was weak and scared, and loved me when I couldn't love myself. Just as I have for him. and this is my answer to those questions. I could not imagine us not staying together, even though we fight, because this man is in every part of my life. His touch is in even the memories of before I knew him, because I have shared them with him, and he has been willing to receive them. He allows me my space, and to be myself (even when that gets to be a little crazy). Because of these things, even though our life is not perfect, and we argue and sometimes don't know what we're doing, I know that he has been a gift from God. He is definitely the man that I'm supposed to have in my life. I love you honey. And I hope you all can see that you would be in love with my southern gentleman of a husband too if you could be. (which you can't. He's already taken).
So here's to hoping you find your very own love, who helps you to be complete within yourself, just as I have.
Here we go...
Wilbanks
