My Love...

Hello There...

For those of you who do not know my husband. I wanted to paint an image of this man who has not stolen my heart, but gotten me to willingly hand it over, with no thought as to what could happen to it, at an age that most people would find terrifying (or appalling. It has more to do with you than me I think). People tend to have a moment of shock when they find out that I am married and am only twenty-one. You can imagine the reaction I get when I tell them I have been married for over two years. So I thought it would be fitting to try to explain this love of mine to you "sane" people. Note that it is not because I feel I have to get your approval but more because I feel a deep yearning, bursting need in my chest to describe this man in a way that does him justice.

I could start with how completely physically attractive he is (and I really could... everyone thinks so....trust me I hear it all the time... ;D ). However, there is so much more to him. My husband is a man to be reckoned with. He is a force. And I don't mean in that overly macho "I'm going to pick a fight with every man I see" way. He just has an essence about him that screams strength. When he says that he'll protect me people believe it, I believe it. He was the first man that my parents automatic response to him saying he'd take care of me, was "I know, and she can only go because you're going to be there with her." They never had any doubt that he would keep me safe. My mother once told me that she knew without a doubt that he would die before he let a hair on my head be hurt. Now those are strong words for a mother to say to her 16 year old daughter. There is just something about him that let's you know when he says something he means it.

You might think that having a man who seems so strong willed might be annoying, and sometimes it can be, just because the man is almost always right. However, my husband is balanced with a tenderness that most men would be embarrassed about. You can always tell what he's feeling when you look into his eyes. Now don't get me wrong, he is just as much a smart ass as any man (or any good friend of mine). But it is interspersed with moments full of deep love and appreciation. He has completely helped me to accept myself, and love myself, just the way I am. And he is the only man I've ever met who will tell me I'm a boogerhead one second, and then put a bunch of love songs on my ipod because they made him think of me.

I think that in this day and age, everyone who gets married really sits back and thinks "are we going to make it? Or are we going to be part of that fifty percent that fails?" And when I ask myself these questions, you know what answer I get? There's no yes, or no. There's not an instant response of "of coarse we'll make it". I get memories. I see his face, with a background of stars in a cloudy night sky, right before he gave me the kiss to end all kisses. I see what I call the "little boy" in him, whenever you get him around a dog. I remember every single time that he happened to show up right when I needed him, and how he always knew when I needed words, and when words could never fix it. I see all the times that he's taken care of me when I was sick, even though he was tired, and had worked all day, and had work early the next morning. I remember each and every time that I had a bad dream and he stayed on the phone with me just so I could hear him breathing and I would know I wasn't alone, and how now he still knows how scared those dreams can make me and he holds me automatically without a second thought, and tells me that it's going to be okay, he's with me. I see the beautiful letters written in his hand that make me cry. I see him down on one knee holding out a ring and asking me to be his wife, in his p.j.s, on my birthday. And SO SO SO much more. This man is not my past, present, and future, but he has been there through my past, and shares my present, and will help me to reach my future. Which is way more than being those things. It's too easy to BE some one's everything. It's a lot harder, and a lot sweeter to BE THERE for some one's everything. To have touched every memory, fear, dream, and hope. That's the hard part. That's the reason I think so many marriages fail. we forget that we should not be their everything but share their everything. That's how you build a life.

My love know that we are two very different people who share a life. He has held me when I cried, caught me when I fell, picked me up when I was hurt, shared in my joy and my pain, been strong when I was weak and scared, and loved me when I couldn't love myself. Just as I have for him. and this is my answer to those questions. I could not imagine us not staying together, even though we fight, because this man is in every part of my life. His touch is in even the memories of before I knew him, because I have shared them with him, and he has been willing to receive them. He allows me my space, and to be myself (even when that gets to be a little crazy). Because of these things, even though our life is not perfect, and we argue and sometimes don't know what we're doing, I know that he has been a gift from God. He is definitely the man that I'm supposed to have in my life. I love you honey. And I hope you all can see that you would be in love with my southern gentleman of a husband too if you could be. (which you can't. He's already taken).

So here's to hoping you find your very own love, who helps you to be complete within yourself, just as I have.

Here we go...

Wilbanks

God, vampires, witches, and angels.....

Hello There...

Growing up I was always led to believe that fiction books were all about an escape from reality, and not really meant to be taken seriously. Now trust me I can understand this stance. I mean if you think that Dracula is real then you must be crazy right? But why is it that just because people don't believe in the creatures that these books speak of that they are perceived as silly, and books without substance? Many times people go as far as to say that reading these books is sinful and letting the Devil into your life. I'd like to point out that there are many ways to let the Devil into your life, and that many of these books actually bring thoughts of God very close to the surface.

I will admit that I do often read to get away from the reality that is life. However, these books tend to make me think about things that are much deeper than what I'm going to make for dinner or what time I have to go serve coffee to people who are always in a rush. They make me think of God, and love and thankfulness. They make me think of enjoying every second of my life that I am lucky enough to have my amazing husband. They make me be open to people that are in all walks of life, and to see things through their eyes. I have learned that even if I cannot relate to a person, I can understand where they are coming from. And that not everything that is right for me will be right for everyone else.

I will even go as far as to say that these books have shown me the beauty of the world. There isn't a time where I look out on the horizon and don't think of a character that would love the image, and try to see it through their eyes. Every time I look at the stars I think of Edward telling Bella how he felt about her, using the night sky as the example, and every time I see a sunset I will think of soaring above the clouds with Daniel, and Luce. These things are beautiful and reading about them through the characters' point of view has only extended the beauty I am able to see in them.

You may find me to be a nerd or a dork, but I see God in all these stories. I can feel his presence with me when I read them, and I think that if your heart is in the right place then God will reach you to show you love through whatever means there are. I know that me and Him have shared laughter, joy, tears, and sometimes some anger over these characters because my heart is open when I am reading.

So next time you see someone reading a book that you might find dorky or cliche, think of the fact that maybe they are seeing a beautiful world that otherwise they would have missed out on, or maybe, just maybe they are spending a little private time with the big guy upstairs. You never know, maybe your point of view on how to read books could be changed by seeing how books truly affect the hearts and minds of those you tease. Give it a shot sometime.

Well. Here we go...

Wilbanks

The Children With Lead Us....

Hello There.....

There is this man who comes into Starbucks on a regular basis. His name is Charles (which I completely love...for some reason that name is just so awesome to me), and usually he comes in, orders either a tall coffee or a glass of ice water, then he sets up his laptop and sits there for hours typing. Then, he pretty much keeps to himself the whole time. I'm not really sure what I used to think he was doing. I guess I thought he was playing FarmVille or something like a lot of our other customers do. For some reason it just never occurred to me that he may be writing something.

After a couple hours, he came over to the counter and ordered a pastry. This was a surprise in it's own because like I said all he orders usually is coffee or water. And he says to me, "I'm getting some good stuff done today."

So I asked, "Are you a writer? Are you writing a book?"

"Yes." he says. "It's about our spirituality and how most of us disconnect with it."
Then he proceeds to tell me about his book. How he has a bunch of people's stories about their spirituality, and how he is trying to reach out to my generation because my generation is a lot like his was. We are trying to connect to our inner spirits and a lot of our generation are trying to do this through drugs.

"This is where my generation went wrong." he tells me. He says that this is what he wants my generation to understand that all we need to do is not be contaminated be all the media and drugs and basically bad crap out there, and we will accomplish our destinies. Then he says something that was like a well needed smack in the face.

"God said that we would be led by children. That a child would lead us to our destinies. That's your generation."

BAM.

Electric shock wave through my body. This man is serious! He is for real right now! He truly believes in my generation. I am completely astounded. Goose bumps are running up my arms, and I'm feeling emotional. This man believes that God has not only a purpose for us, but a destiny that will affect our whole world. He says that he knows that he will be led by us!

I was so surprised by this man's faith. He not only believes this but he is trying to help us get to it!!!

Can you imagine what the world would be like if we were all brought up with this being what our parents taught us? I mean, this must be something that I was never told, because could I have possibly missed that Sunday School lessen? To believe in myself. And to believe that God has a destiny for me to accomplish, and that all I have to do is listen, and not be distracted by all the useless crap that travels through my eardrums without my permission.

My soul is mine to protect and I should be able to choose what gets put into it, right? I mean think about all the useless, horrible things that we listen to everyday....whether we want to or not. I have a say in this!

It is completely and entirely eye opening to me. I am so convinced in the power that God has placed in me. Me. Come on. You know you do it to. You have times where you think God gifted this person or that person, but darn it he gifted all of us!!!!! Including you, and me. It's inspiring to hear that there is a purpose to this big crazy beautiful thing called life, even if it's just a pit stop to where we're all really headed.

Thank you Charles, for being Charles, and giving us all some hope.

I challenge everyone to change something....let's go after our destiny, and do it by listening to God speak. :D

Here we go...

Wilbanks

The Grand parents in-law?

Hello There...

My step-father in-law's(fil) parents have been here all of one day and they have already managed to send the house into disarray. The mom in-law(mil) is being super patient and calm, Fil is being annoyingly like a toddler, and my older sister in-law (mimi) is being a normal 18 year old. We have to have all five dogs put away in the bedrooms, or the backyard because Fil's mom is apparently terrified of dogs(even though she used to have dogs). I guess it's somehow possible for someone to magically become afraid of an animal that they were perfectly fine with before. How is this possible? So the dogs are constantly barking and whining, Mimi is acting suspiciously normal, and the younger sister in-law (feeshi) is being oddly quiet. It's a little odd. Why is it that old people make everyone act so strange? I mean my in-laws are not at all this normal. It's kind of weirding me out. Plus, I swear that Fil's step dad just likes to hear himself speak because I don't really understand most of what he's talking about. Can't we all just be ourselves? Even around creepy old people. It's not like they can do anything to us. I don't know. I guess I'll sleep on it. If I'm lucky enough to get the dogs to stop barking long enough to sleep. well...

Here we go....

Wilbanks

Why Hello There...

Hello There....

I've never blogged before, and this is my first. So you'll probably have a lot to laugh at. You fully have my permission to do so...I would to you. Hopefully someone enjoys this craziness.

Here we go...